The Tale of Sir Garet
by Dracobolt
Summary: Sir Garet is sent to rescue a princess. As a reward, he will recieve her hand in marriage. However, there's some confusion as to who the princess actually is. Add in an evil knight who lives in a pink house, and Garet's certainly got his hands full. [OS]


Disclaimer: I don't own Golden Sun.

* * *

Garet entered the throne room hurriedly, responding to the king's urgent summons. He had barely had time to change into a fresh tunic after his sword drills. He approached the throne, bowing low to the king and queen. "How may I serve you, your majesty?" he asked the king.

King Jacob looked distressed as he answered, "Sir Garet, you must help. My daughter has been captured by the renegade knight, Alex. You must rescue her immediately!"

Garet was stricken. "Jenna's been kidnapped? Fear not, sire! I will return her to you safely!"

"Very good. I knew we could count on you, Garet. As a reward, you may have her hand in marriage."

"Awesome! Let us be wed as soon as we return!" He bowed hastily, then bolted out of the throne room.

"Mother, was that Garet?" Jenna stepped into the throne room from a side door. "I wanted to talk to him."

"Sweetheart, we have some bad new," Queen Isabelle told her daughter. "Your sister Melinabeth was kidnapped by the evil Alex."

"Oh no," Jenna cried. "Not Minnie!" She was distraught, for she loved her sister very much, even if Minnie was a little, well, unusual.

"Don't worry, though," King Jacob said. "Sir Garet is going to find her. Melinabeth will be in capable hands with him."

"Oh, Garet is so capable. I simply cannot wait until he returns." Jenna stared into space, a goofy smile on her face. Her parents exchanged anxious looks.

"Jenna, sweetie," Isabelle said hesitantly, "There was one other thing that your father told Garet. He promised him Melinabeth's hand in marriage when they returned."

"What?" Jenna shrieked. "Father! How could you do this to me? You knew I was in love with Garet!"

"Be reasonable, Jenna," said Jacob. "We've been trying to find a husband for Minnie for such a long time now. For some reason, no one wants to wed her. So, we had to jump at this chance."

"I never want to speak to either of you again!" She fled the room, sobbing.

"Oh dear," said Jacob, stroking his beard anxiously. "I suppose that could have gone better."

"Eh, she's a princess," said Isabelle. "Bouts of drama and crying are to be expected. She'll get over it."

* * *

Garet rode for days in search of Alex's Fortress of Doom. Personally, Garet thought the name was a little tacky, but he supposed it was a matter of personal taste. However, when he saw the Fortress of Doom, he did wonder how Alex could possibly be evil when he lived in a pleasant ranch style house. The house was pink, with a neatly mowed lawn and a sign saying, "Alex's Fortress of Doom, please keep off the grass." A smaller sign said, "Beware of Fenrir." Garet shrugged, dismounted, and tied his horse to the mailbox. He approached the Fortress of Doom and rang the doorbell.

"For the last time, I don't want any of your crappy cookies! I broke out in hives from that last box!" A voice, presumably Alex's, shouted from within.

"I'm not selling cookies," Garet called back. "I'm, uh, actually here to present you with a large check. You won our special contest!"

"Nice try," Alex replied. "I'm not falling for any of your stupid ruses. You'll not con me into buying anything! Now go away!"

Garet stepped away from the house, stymied. This Alex was obviously quite clever. Garet would have to come up with a truly brilliant plan if he hoped to outwit the evil mastermind. After several minutes of thinking, Garet hit upon an idea.

"Of course!" he exclaimed, smacking his forehead. "Why didn't I think of this sooner?" He walked to the beginning of the walk, then ran full speed towards Alex's front door. Luckily, he wasn't in full armor, so he was able to move quite fast. When he reached the door, Garet slammed into it with his full weight, knocking the door off its hinges. It fell in to reveal an immaculate front hall with a piano in one corner, a coat tree in another, and two closed doors. The door directly across from the front door opened, and Alex peered out irritably.

"What did you do?" he asked. He stared at Garet. "Did you just break down my front door?"

"Eh heh," Garet chuckled nervously. Then he remembered why he was there in the first place. "Er, release the princess, you evil kidnapping scum!"

Alex's features drew into an evil smile. "Oh, I don't think so," he said. "The princess possesses great power, and I intend to harness it and use it to take over the world." He threw back his head and laughed evilly. "Tee hee hee. Tee hee hee hee hee!"

Garet looked at him strangely. "Hand over the princess and nobody gets hurt," he said, drawing his sword.

"Oh, you wanna mess?" Alex asked. He conjured up a sword made of ice. "Bring it!"

Garet lunged at Alex. The other man brought up his sword to block the blow. The icy blade shattered into infinitesimal pieces. Garet acted quickly and conjured up a wall of flame to melt the shards that came near him. Alex was not so lucky. He lay dead on the floor, blood staining the once immaculate beige carpet that covered the floor of the front hall. Garet shrugged.

"That was easy," he said, then stepped over Alex's corpse and went through the door Alex had come through.

The new room was a drastic change from what Garet had seen of Alex's house up until then. It was pitch black. Garet fumbled around for the light switch, gave up, and conjured up a ball of flame. It showed that the room was actually a passage that sloped downwards into the ground. Garet began walking, and he reached a door after a quarter of an hour. Slowly, with trepidation, Garet turned the knob and opened the door, wondering what horrors lay at the end of the long, dark passage. What he saw shocked and astounded him.

Alex's basement was comfortably furnished. There was thick, soft carpeting on the floor, and the walls had several landscape paintings hung on them. There was a bar on the far side of the room, and there was a foosball table, and an air hockey table, and a pool table. Standing, or rather _floating_, at the latter was a creature that resembled a medium size boulder. It was perhaps three feet tall and three feet around. It had a large, blue eye, and sitting atop its head was a tiara and a pink bow. Floating in the air near it was a pool stick, and Garet had the impression that the creature was using some sort of Psyenergy to play pool. He cleared his throat to attract the creature's attention.

"Ah!" the creature exclaimed. The pool shot it had been lining up went wild, and none of the balls entered a pocket. The creature turned to Garet. "Who are you?" Strangely enough, Garet detected a feminine aspect to the creature's tone.

"Excuse me," Garet said, "but who are you?"

"Oh, I seem to have forgotten my manners," said the creature. It bobbed in midair, as though curtsying, and said, "I am Princess Melinabeth."

"I am Sir Garet," said Garet, sweeping into a bow. "I have come to rescue the Princess Jenna from the clutches of the evil Alex. Having vanquished him, I see no obstacles to retrieving her. I could also take you back to your home, as well. Have you any idea where Princess Jenna might be held?"

The creature gasped. "Jenna has been taken, too? But how awful!" She thought for a moment. "If Alex captured her, I know nothing of it. We had best search the premises. I can't help but worry about what that beastly man would do to my poor sister."

This last part confused Garet. "Your sister?"

"Yes," confirmed Princess Melinabeth. "My sister is Princess Jenna of Vale."

"No, wait. I'm from Vale, and I've never heard of you!"

Melinabeth looked upset. "My parents are ashamed of me. I don't exactly take after either of them in the looks department, and I think that embarrasses them."

Comprehension dawned on Garet. "Wait... I think that Jenna wasn't kidnapped at all. I guess it was you I was sent to rescue. Come on, then. Let's get you home." He strode along the passage back up to the main part of the house with Princess Melinabeth following closely behind.

* * *

Garet and Melinabeth arrived at the royal court of Vale. Garet escorted the princess to the throne room.

"Sir Garet! You were successful in your mission!" cried King Jacob, joyfully. He rose from his throne to embrace the princess. The queen did the same. Jacob sat back down, then continued, "We have the wedding preparations completed. You and Melinabeth shall be united in matrimony."

"What?" exclaimed Garet. "Back up, your majesty. Since when was I marrying Princess Melinabeth?"

"Why, you agreed to it before leaving on your quest to rescue the princess. And, in fairy tales, that sort of agreement is legally binding."

Garet muttered a couple of curse words under his breath, the most extreme reaction that his knightly code would allow. "But I wanted to marry Jenna," he said in a more audible tone.

"Yeah! Let him marry me," Jenna said, appearing from a side door and making a beeline for Garet. She put her arms around him and her head on his shoulder. "Aren't we just perfect together?"

"Look, I'm sorry," said the king, "but you have to see it from our point of view. We haven't been able to find anyone to marry Melinabeth, and this is probably the best match we're going to get for her, so we just have to cut our losses and run with things."

"There's something that's bothering me about this," Garet said. "How is it possible for you to have a daughter who's basically a big rock?"

"Ix-nay on the ock-ray," Jenna whispered to him. "Minnie's sort of sensitive about that."

The king sighed, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "Do you really want to know?"

"I'm going to be marrying her, aren't I?" Garet asked acidly. "I think I'm entitled to know."

"Fine," said the King. He took a deep breath. "There was this one time... Well, I happened to meet the Wise One. You know, the guardian of Vale? ... And, well, stuff happened. I was young and foolish... I don't really like to talk about it." He stared at his feet, his face red.

"Well, I can see how that would be an uncomfortable subject to talk about. Please, though, can't I marry Jenna?"

The king shook his head. "I'm sorry, Garet."

"I know how we can solve this." A powerful voice rang throughout the throne room. Everyone looked up. Floating there was the Wise One.

"Daddy!" exclaimed Melinabeth. Garet looked curiously at King Jacob. The man stared intently at his shoes, his face growing even redder.

"Minnie, it's good to see you again," said the Wise One to his daughter. To everyone else, he said, "I know how you can solve your problem so that everyone is happy. Jacob, honey, get out your Book of Rules and Overly Large Pen of Signing." Jacob did so. "Now, write this new law in there." The Wise One dictated the law to the king, who inscribed it in the book with a foot long novelty pencil with smiley faces on it. Everyone listened and agreed that the Wise One wasn't called that for nothing.

"Hey, honey!" Garet called to his wife. "Can you get me a sandwich?" He was stretched out comfortably in his armchair, a romance novel in hand. Jenna brought him his sandwich and kissed him on the forehead.

"How's the book, honey?" she asked.

"It's lovely," he sighed. Raising his voice, Garet called into another room, "Hey, Melinabeth, can you hurry up with that laundry? I need you to mow the lawn before it gets dark." He turned back to Jenna. "Isn't this new bigamy law the greatest?"

* * *

Many thanks to all my reviewers so far. To the fellow who asked me to continue my previous two stories, sorry, but they're one-shots. I'll write more like them, but there're no plans to continue any of them. Although, that gives me an idea... Also, thanks to Joker and Jake. You guys are awesome! Until next time!


End file.
